Frankly, it’s all anyone’s guess.Whatever happens, it remains certain that celebrity status, with all its attendant pitfalls, is still attractive enough to many people that they seem willing to sell their children, or at least photographs of them, to get it. Maybe Richard Desmond will find himself able to become the major player in marketing these miserable souls worldwide, through his publications and its syndications departments. Or maybe, like so many of the celebrity clients he hankers after, or secures, he’s already overstretched and overexposed himself a tad too much.One thing is for sure. The metropolitan media is going to be fascinating to watch as developments unfold. Much of the rest of the population will remain every bit as interested in Mr Desmond’s progress as they are in reading the autobiography of his business associate, Anthea Turner.d.orr independent.co.uk
More from Deborah Orr. Where are they now? That is the question we all love to ask about once-famous people.
At least, it’s one of the questions I love to ask about once-famous people. (Others include: “I wonder whether Mike Yarwood ever watches Rory Bremner on TV?” and, “Can anyone tell me if Harold Wilson is still actually alive?”)
Where are they now? That is the question we all love to ask about once-famous people. At least, it’s one of the questions I love to ask about once-famous people. (Others include: “I wonder whether Mike Yarwood ever watches Rory Bremner on TV?” and, “Can anyone tell me if Harold Wilson is still actually alive?”)
But today the question I am asking is just, “Where are they now?”And here are the answers! Steve RedgraveThe much-crowned Olympic oarsman has now given up rowing and joined up with his famous siblings, Vanessa and Corin Redgrave, to act in a revival of the little-known Chekhov play Two Brothers and a Sister. He plays the part of Vassili, the brother who is fed up with life in the country and wants to row back to Moscow. Margaret ThatcherMrs Thatcher now lives in a small cave in Greece, with a sign outside saying, “Beware Oracle”, to which gurus from all over the world come to consult her.
For a large fee (sorry, no euros) she will predict the sorry future of the world in apocalyptic terms. For a little extra fee she will condemn anyone who disagrees with her. Boris YeltsinYeltsin is running a bar in the business section of Moscow. He has fired 23 barmen already this year, including Mikhail Gorbachev. Jeffrey ArcherArcher is appearing in a play he has written in which he plays the part of a millionaire who has written a play in which he appears, unjustly accused of having paid someone else to write a play and pass it off as his I think I’ve got that right. During the play, the audience are asked to vote with their feet about whether they want to stay till the end. John ThawJohn Thaw is undergoing a massive course of therapy to overcome having been killed off as Inspector Morse. He now nurses murderous impulses towards Colin Dexter, whom he sees as the man who is responsible for Morse’s death.
His therapist says: “Well, at least we’ve got rid of his murderous impulses towards Peter Mayle.” Peter MayleNobody has seen Peter Mayle in Provence for quite a while, so presumably he is still there, because even when he was in Provence all the time, not many people remember seeing him there, either. Angus DeaytonAngus Deayton is engaged in a research project to develop more catchphrases for the British public. Aware that he is commonly thought to have brought “Allegedly” and “So, no change there, then” and “Meaning?” and “We now come to the aptly named fifth round” into the English language, which is more catchphrases than most single people ever achieve, he is obsessed with trying to overtake himself with at least one more common coinage. George SpeightGeorge Speight was a name that came to prominence last year, when there was an attempted coup in Fiji. Nobody in Britain is very interested in Fiji or the fate of its Indian population, so it must have been a very dull time in the media for this to make the front pages. George Speight now runs the most popular cookery programme on Fijian TV, or if he doesn’t, nobody knows, because nobody is very interested in Fiji… Frank DobsonHe’s around somewhere. Edwina CurrieCurrie is currently in a taxi half-way between one chat show and another. Virginia BottomleyVirginia Bottomley was something to do with health under Mrs Thatcher but was fired in disgrace when Stephen Fry made the discovery that her name was an anagram of “I’m an evil Tory bigot”. She now lives as a recluse, trying to work out an anagram of Stephen Fry. Kevin KeeganPass.
More from Miles Kington.