He has quietly visited thousands of anonymous prisoners, week in, week out, for the past 60 years, but the papers insist on sneering at his friendship with Myra Hindley, whom he has championed since 1968.”I haven’t been in the news so much since the pornography days,” he said about his birthday. “Even today a radio programme rang up and asked me to talk about Rose West – whom I’ve never met or even talked to, though I would if asked. This he doesn’t mind – what does enrage him is that their distortions undermine the credibility of his lifelong concern for penal reform. He was nicknamed Lord Porn by London taxi drivers for his 1971 report on pornography and his impassioned campaign against the threats it posed Tabloid journalists delight in mocking him. He is one of the most-beloved and most-reviled figures of our age. Ironically for a man of profound Christian piety, he is probably best known for his twin associations with pornography and Myra Hindley.

He consoled himself by reflecting that the cut on his forehead was a salutary reminder that reaching 90 is a fortunate act of survival but otherwise no great achievement. Suddenly we’re saying go into this exam and be brilliant, it’s really important, you must pass. After 20-odd years they recognised that the entrance exams could trip up even the brightest and best when they are competing against highly exam-literate prep school pupils. What happens is someone in the pub will say ‘Can you get me a radio or a high value pen? The thief will bring it in the next night.” Car boot sales are another popular outlet for the pros.Professional thieves can make a hefty profit, as they think nothing of walking out of a shop with 20 or 30 items.

Frank is very proud of the book he has written on the subject of Humility.Francis Aungier Pakenham, KG, PC, 7th Earl of Longford, is full of paradoxes. He took it out of a hatbox the size of a small dustbin and put it on his head, where it dropped straight down over his face and came to rest at chin-level, forming a complete and effective disguise.”Never mind,” he said cheerfully, “I’ll carry it.”On his 90th birthday he worried that he might be getting swollen-headed, in view of the six parties to mark the occasion, the many presents, the hundreds of cards and tributes. It arrived on the morning of the day he was due to attend Ascot. “It’ll still be too small.”I rang Moss Bros and asked them to send the largest one they had. Nowadays the monkish tonsure he’s had for the past 50 years is whiter and wispier than it used to be, but it still crowns his large domed head, giving him an unmistakable silhouette somewhere between an ascetic and an eccentric.
Thirty-two years ago, when I was working as his secretary, he once asked me to hire a grey topper for him to wear to Ascot.”How big?” I asked.”Just get the largest they’ve got,” he answered vaguely. Although he lacked the usual cotton-wool blob, a piece of plaster covered a deep cut on his forehead.

He has no idea how he came by it but this should be put down to absent-mindedness. While Frank has always been infuriatingly forgetful, he is very far from being senile. The use of the styptic pencil is unknown to Frank, who has never quite come to terms with gadgets or remedies, other than the copper bracelet which he wore for very many years to ward off arthritis. It seems to have worked: at 90 he remains upright, athletic, and vigorous. How much was the pen?Extra questions for more academic schools1 Approximate 26.4763 to 2 d.p.2 What value is the probability representing an impossible event?. On the morning of his 90th birthday, Tuesday 5 December, Frank Longford got up at quarter past seven as usual.