I told him that if we sold our home I wanted my own house and he could have a house of his own. He said we should go for counselling, which made me snort; I’d been dragging him there, kicking and screaming, for years. We went, but it was evident there was no hope; I sorted out the financial side and divided up the furniture It was a pretty lonely old thing. If you decide late in life that as a human being you are loveable, you deserve happiness, and you decide to try to change things, people think you are very odd indeed I had to exercise great courage.

I found I was a person, I was unique, I had some great friends and I was entitled to some happiness. It took ages, but the freedom and liberation I’ve experienced are indescribable.Do I regret not doing it earlier? I don’t let myself think about that I never say “if only”. I’ve learned to look back and realise there were some good bits, I made good friends and that helped to keep me human. My friends counterbalanced my husband’s negativity – his non-cooperation, his not caring.After the separation in 1993, I bought a little house and a car, and I found teaching work – I have to work hard.

I can’t afford to get all gloomy about having no money to do this or that I’ve always loved travelling. When I was married, I saved enough money to go on long trips, and it did a great deal to loosen up my self-confidence, self-knowledge and self-belief – the tight band I always had around my head went away. Since the separation, I’ve managed to save enough to travel all round the world. It’s part of recovering from the grief at separation – any separation is always accompanied by a deep sense of loss.I’ll be 70 in a couple of months, though I don’t feel it I’m hoping to keep my physical fitness for a bit longer. I don’t worry about being lonely – in fact I need my solitude.

I’ve got a student who lives in my house – initially the arrangement was a source of income but now I know her well, she’s a friend and I’ve stayed with her family in Japan My social life is quiet, I don’t have many male friends. I would like a male companion but I think I might have to do without that.I feel privileged and fortunate. I’ve had guts and courage to do what I’ve done – that’s not being conceited, that’s how it is I’m still working very hard at life.. BACK IN JANUARY, when all was still conjecture and denial, a Los Angeles TV station owned by Rupert Murdoch landed a scoop and unwittingly threw it back. It was an interview with a local pop psychologist, Dr Irene Kassoria, about the newly uncovered Monica Lewinsky. “How many 21-year-olds Dr Kassoria asked: ‘Would resist if the president of the United States tapped on their vaginas and said ‘How about it?’”

What no one realised at the time was that this was not a question but an explanation.